Twenty Something Girl in the Big City

And I'm still single.

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 03:47:00 -0400

A few months ago I had a startling revelation. Maybe dating douche bags who have slept with a friend of mine or musicians with drug problems was not panning on the way I had hoped. And that maybe I should try a new approach to meeting men and maybe even enter into a “healthy relationship.” But where would I meet these employed, friendly guys who will avoid hitting on all of my friends while I’m standing right there? The same bar I’ve been attending regularly for the past three years? Probably not. Maybe while I’m shopping for fresh produce at the farmers market while seemingly looking like I just stepped off of a movie set? No, I usually go in sweatpants and barely brushed hair. At the dog park while I’m wearing a flattering summer dress as my dog manages to get loose and a dashing stranger rescues him and brings him back to me? No, I don’t go to dog parks because my dog is about as anti-social as I am. So I decided that my best course of action was online dating.

I did my due diligence in researching my options, I even tweeted Patti Stanger, although ultimately didn’t take her advice lol. And settled on Ok Cupid. It seemed to have an array of artistic, creative LA based men who were around my age. I answered the questions honestly. I tried to come off as witty, funny, and edgy. Three characteristics I think I embody. I uploaded flattering photos straight from my Facebook profile pictures album and took the leap into the online dating pool. What I didn’t expect was the insane amount of responses I got. Like my inbox was full within a few days and it holds 300 messages and about 1,000 views. I came to a few conclusions pretty instantly and realized it wasn’t much different than the men I come across in the my day to day life.

The first thing I noticed was there is an abundance of men just looking for sex. Not a surprise. But I got a shit ton of messages that were basically the equivalent of a guy driving by and screaming something sexually obscene at you out the window. When I ignored the message or politely declined, the response was generally the same as when I ignore a guy screaming sexually obscene things at me in person. They get angry and feel the need to then tell you off. And on a side note, I would love hear a story where that actually worked. I find it utterly shocking that guys are surprised by the fact that women don’t hop in their car as soon as they here “Hey slut come get on this dick!” And of course who are we to turn that down? Obviously if I’m not interested in a classy and well-articulated pick up line such as that I’m clearly a transsexual or a lesbian. Or at least according to the men driving by me while I’m walking my dog.

Another thing I was not surprised by was the amount of really genuinely weird introductions. Like the 31 year old who messaged me telling me was a virgin as his opener. Or the guy who asked if I would be interested in dating someone currently involved in organized crime who had been incarcerated on several occasions. Or the guy who would “allow me to come to his house any day.” Whaaat? You’d let me into your home even though we’ve never met?? Would you allow me to fix you a sandwich while wearing lingerie too?? I asked him that and he apparently didn’t get my sarcasm. Another guy messaged me and said, “Hi Elise,” I assumed he had confused me with someone else so I didn’t respond. (I probably respond to about 5% of the messages I receive honestly.) He then messaged me and said, “I know your name is probably not Elise but you look like an Elise.” I still didn’t respond. He then asked me what my actual name was. To which I finally asked him why the hell he called me Elise. And the response was the exact same answer I get whenever I ask any guy why they send me weird, strange, or creepy messages. Because, they either don’t get a lot of responses with a simple and friendly, “Hi, Nice to meet you.” Or they didn’t think I would respond to something so basic.

To the guys out there who may be avid online daters, I will let you in a secret. As long as you don’t say something offensive or disrespectful we will base our response on if we liked your page or not. So in the minds of these guys sending weird messages out, they weren’t getting responses because their introductions were too basic. It never even occurred to them that maybe girl’s just aren’t fucking interested. I know. Shocker! A girl isn’t into you. Impossible right? I just find it funny because if a guy doesn’t message me back online I think, “oh well he wasn’t interested in me. Move on.” Not, “OMG He must be gay! Or crazy. There’s NO way someone wasn’t interested in me.” I never get why guys are like that. I’ve been out with guy friends and seen them approach girls and get shot down and their response is always, “Yeah she was a bitch.” or “I thinks he was a lesbian.” Um….no she just wasn’t into you.

Now, I’m not saying that women never think the same thing. But the first thing every single one of my female friends has said after being dumped or turned down is, “Hmm. I guess he wasn’t into me.” And it’s perfectly acceptable. I have sent guys messages and never gotten a response. I seldom approach guys in real life because I’m shy. But I can accept the fact that not every guy in the world is attracted to me or finds me charming and awesome to hang out with. Weird right?! But I accept it. The world won’t stop turning. And I don’t lash out or try to make a guy feel like they should of never been born. I can say that several times I have had guys message me on said dating site and I simply don’t respond, not because I’m too good to or think I’m little Miss hotsy totsy, but because I don’t feel a need to. And then the same guy will send message after asking why I’m not replying and what’s wrong with me. And when I’ve simply stated that I don’t feel we are compatible they lash out on me. I’ve gotten the worst of the worst insults after a polite decline. I’ve been told I look like a man, I’m probably a tranny, I’m a whore, I’m an idiot, I’m a stuck up C U Next Tuesday. All because I politely said no thank you. But I’m a girl, who the hell do I think I am to not be into you? Never mind the fact that you’re fifteen years older than me, can’t formulate a proper sentence, and referenced my boobs in your first message. Ok. Maybe not all in the same message. But I still don’t understand why guys feel so emasculated when being turned down by a girl? Even in a polite manner. I had a guy try to pick me up on the street recently. While I was on a date…walking down the street…and my date was standing right there. And then I was the rude one for telling him I wasn’t interested. Seriously? What happened to respect?

One of my favorite experiences was when a reasonable good looking guy messaged me. He said I seemed cool and he wanted to introduce himself. Why not? I thought to myself. His profile wasn’t really filled out and he only had a couple of photos so I asked him to tell me a bit more about himself? Well according to him he, “was a veteran, had a steady job, good credit, and a hung cock.” His words not mine. He then followed it up with, “Come to think of it. I’m probably too good for your ass anyways. Fuck off.” Well not only was I astonished because why would you be that rude to a stranger but he messaged me first. And I have had a handful of similar situations occur. I’m convinced that people go on online dating sites solely to get out their weird psychological issues. He probably had a weird stigma about women or wanted to overpower them but couldn’t do it in real life so he resorted to telling off random strangers online. Sad really. I wished him luck with his psychological issues but he never wrote back.

I was hoping my experienced with online dating would help me to understand guys more. But I have concluded that it’s basically the same as meeting people in real life. Gross middle aged men will still try to pick you up even after saying several times you aren’t interested in someone twice your age. No one pays attention to what you actually say, they just look at your pics and say insulting things that they think are witty. Maybe it’s just me but I get a “To Catch a Predator” feeling when someone I don’t know tells me I’m sexy. Gross. You have to go through about 700 douche bags to meet three cool people. And you know that guy sitting next to you at the bar who keeps trying to strike up a conversation even though you’re turning your back to him to talk to your friend or consistently looking at your phone and can’t comprehend you don’t want to talk to him? There’s the equivalent of that in that weirdos message you ten times thinking you just accidentally skipped past their message. The first nine times. So overall if you’re looking to meet someone you wouldn’t normally meet then give it a go. If you’re like me and have a low tolerance for sexual comments from strangers or being called “babe” every five minutes then it isn’t for you. After my experience I’m not sure I’ll find my soul mate online. I mean I doubt Adam Levine is on match.com.

"What are you?" My journey to cultural, racial, and self acceptance.

Wed, 22 May 2013 06:22:00 -0400

I don’t usually preface my posts with anything, however this is probably the most personal post I have written thus far so I felt it warranted special circumstances. I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a while or to share my story but was always afraid. I had a phone conversation with my best friend a few nights ago and she helped me to realize something very important. That I had become the person I wanted to be as a teenager. I think in life we go through many journeys and I had reached the end of one, the journey of self acceptance. Coming to this realization gave me the courage to write this in hopes that it may someday reach someone out there who might be going through the same struggles. So this is my story.

“What are you?” This is a question that has plagued me most of my life. Well first and foremost, I am a human being. Secondly, I’m a woman. However, this answer doesn’t seem to appease the strangers who regularly come up to me to ask that question. I believe what they’re searching for is the elusive answer of what my ethnicity is. For people whose origins are pretty obvious it may not seem so strange. But to me it is alienating. It’s not the fact that people ask me, it’s how they ask me. I’m bi-racial, the product of an African American father and a Caucasian mother (Italian with a bit of Swedish and English.) I don’t mind telling people what my ethnic background is when asked in a polite manner. But so often people approach me as if I’m a science project in a test tube with no preface or nuance. Just, “What are you?” Or, “What are you mixed with?” The funny thing is, is that I get these same questions from people of all races. Being of mixed ethnicity is apart of who am, just as anyone’s heritage is apart of who they are. But it certainly doesn’t define me.

It’s no secret that growing up I had difficulties growing up. But I think people of mixed race have an especially challenging time because it’s very difficult to figure out where you fit in. I’m not white, but I’m not black either. I’m both. Throughout my adolescence I found that I wasn’t really accepted in my mainly Caucasian community. However when I was in areas with a predominately African American population I didn’t really fit in there either. To white people; I had darker skin and curly “poofy” hair. To black people; I was light skinned with an olive complexion and a “white girls nose” as I was once told. So you can understand my dilemma.
During my teen years I thought that I needed to “choose” a side or a culture to identify with.

My parents divorced when I was eight and I grew up with my mom and her family, who are white. So I opted to identify with my white half. I think a lot of this was because of the discrimination I faced growing up bi-racial in a mainly white community. I think there were three black families in my town, including mine. I remember the first time someone called me, “the N word.” It’s a moment I will vividly remember for the rest of my life. I was nine and in fourth grade. My family had recently moved back to my mother’s hometown following her divorce. My favorite teacher, my art teacher, had died suddenly as a result of a car accident. And as children we didn’t understand death so in response my school had offered counseling. I was sitting outside of my classroom at a table waiting for the counselor to arrive when a boy who was a year older than me came up to me and knelt down so he was at ear level with me. He whispered, “You’re a nigger,” in my ear. I didn’t really know what it meant but I knew it was something bad. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had many racially driven incidents throughout my youth. From being called the N word, to having my sixth grade teacher ask me if I celebrated Christmas or Kwanza in front of my entire class, to getting banned from a movie theater. This happened because my friends, being the juvenile delinquents that we were, would purchase tickets to PG movies and then sneak into PG-13 or R rated movies. We were caught once and told we had to go back into the movie we purchased the tickets to. We did it a second time and everyone of my white friends was free to leave but I was banned from the movie theater. The owner said it was because I was, “the only one he recognized.”

Growing up I was also extremely sensitive about my height and my curly hair. My hometown is predominately Italian so most of the residents are of shorter stature. Currently I’m 5’8, which is tall for a woman but not abnormal. What was abnormal though was that I hit 5’8 at eleven years old but then stopped growing. When I was in fourth grade our teacher did measurements and everyone in my class ridiculed me for being so tall because it had to be “because I was black.” They joked that I should add an extra couple inches to my measurement because my hair was so poofy. Because I was so self conscious about my curly hair I always wore it in a pony-tail. My classmates would always want to touch my hair and ask to see it down. I remember having mini anxiety attacks during the swimming portion of gym class because I was so afraid to take my hair down and dry it after class. One day when I was about twelve years old my friends offered to help me straighten my hair so I could wear it down. I reluctantly took it down and brushed it out and they tried to make it as poofy as possible and took a picture and then posted it on my locker. I was mortified and cried about it for weeks on end.

I used to get terrible anxiety when I knew that topics relating to slavery or civil rights were coming up during school because I could tell it made the other students and occasionally the teachers uncomfortable with me being there. I remember feeling embarrassed when we went through these units year after year. I think it was because I knew everyone was focusing on me and it almost made me feel like I had less self worth because of what my ancestors went through. After class other students would occasionally makes jokes about slavery to me. I remember in fifth grade my teacher took me aside before the civil rights unit began. She told me that I shouldn’t feel ashamed because of what we were about to learn. That is was an important part of my heritage and I should proud of how strong African Americans were that they dealt with such adversity. Those words stuck with me throughout the rest of my education and helped me to get through the rest of my high school career.

The result of growing up dealing with this on a daily basis caused me to become extremely depressed and I had severe anxiety. I remember having one of my first panic attacks during homecoming my first year as a cheerleader because we wore football players jerseys for the homecoming game and no one wanted me to wear their jersey. So every year I would have panic attacks the closer we got to homecoming. My sophomore and junior years of high school I almost never socialized. Many of my friends were to embarrassed to go to parties or social events with me because of my African American heritage. I contemplated suicide on a number of occasions. Throughout all of this I blamed my black heritage for me being alienated and harassed. I often wished that I wasn’t black or that I was “normal”, which in my town was white. I didn’t want to associated with anything that had to do with black culture because in my mind that was the reason I experienced what I did. I hated myself and thought that there was something wrong with me. We had a black boy who briefly transferred to my high school my sophomore year. He was a foster child and his foster family lived in my school district. I remember seeing him being harassed by my fellow classmates once. They grabbed his books out of his band and through them on the floor and called him the n word. He stayed for about three weeks and then transferred to another school. I remember going home and crying that day because if this is how people of black descent were treated then what did I have to look forward to?

I remember one summer I took a modeling class because I wanted to compete in a pageant and I think my mom thought it would help my self esteem. There was a black girl in my class who once approached me and asked me what I was mixed with. I told her I didn’t understand what she meant. She responded that, “Well you sure as hell aren’t full black. What are you mixed with?” I told her my mom was white and she said, “mmmhmm, makes sense,” gave me a dirty look and walked off. I’ve been called a mutt by many black people as well. And as a result of all of these experiences I truly thought that I was abnormal or that I was “wrong.”

Upon the realization that I would never change the opinions of those around me, I decided to move away, roughly 3,000 miles away, to Los Angeles. I remember one of the first friends I met here, let’s call her Kelsey, invited me to a party one day. She told me that a lot of affluent people were going to be there and she wanted to bring someone who was pretty, intelligent, and enjoyable to be around and that she thought I possessed all of those qualities. I remember crying because it was one of the first times I had received a compliment like that from a friend. I was nineteen or twenty at the time. I did have a few friends who lived outside of my hometown and closer to Buffalo, which was our closest city. They weren’t as small minded and I found solace with those friends who I truly believe helped me begin to regain my self esteem and gave me a few happy memories prior to moving.

I believe 1997 was the first year that the census recognized two or more races as an option when filling out the census form. However I remember years later, in the mid 2000s filling out an online application for some department store and they asked if you wanted to answer what your race was. You could only check one box, and there was no mixed race option. Whenever those forms or questionnaires came around I always checked “other.” I never quite fit into one box. I was in a car accident years ago and while filling out the police report the officer asked me, “I hate to ask this but you’re white right?” I laughed and responded that I was bi-racial and he said that he could only choose one box and asked which he wanted me to check. I told him I didn’t care and later found out he had marked white. Recently more forms have listed a two or more races option. I remember the first time I filled out an online application that listed that as an option, I was so excited and I called my mom to tell her that I finally had a box to check. Because as a culture it’s so important to put people into boxes and that day I finally had one to call my own. It seems so trivial, not having a box to check when filling out surveys but it was yet another thing contributed to me feeling alienated.

One thing I find interesting is how different races identify mixed race people, because like I said, people love putting others into boxes. I’ve found that white people generally consider me to be black but black people consider me to be mixed. For example President Obama is widely known as the first “black President.” But he isn’t black, he’s bi-racial, just like Drake, Alicia Keys, Halle Barry and a plethora of other bi-racial celebrities. All known as black, not mixed.

My grandmother passed away when I was one but my mom has often told me something that she often told her. That being Italian, our family was heavily discriminated against when they first came to America as many Italians were. And because of that we should never discriminate against others. This message has stuck with me most of my life. My great grandfather on my mothers side grew up in a tiny one room home in Italy and my ancestors on my fathers side were slaves. One of my ancestors, was also one of the first slaves to buy his own freedom. Both sides of my family have experienced discrimination, but through the adversity they prevailed.

It has taken me years to accept myself for who I am. I’ve dealt with racism and prejudice from both sides. But throughout it I have gained so much strength and compassion. I feel deeply when it comes to the suffering of others. I have so much pride in who I am now. I might be different but beauty is in the abnormalities. I have so much pride in my heritage and I am strong because of the struggles both sides of my family went through. I was at The Grove one afternoon a few years ago (an outdoor mall in LA), and an African American woman came up to me. She had two young children who appeared to be of mixed race. She approached me and told me she thought I was beautiful and asked if I was mixed. I told her I was and she said that her children were as well and she hoped they grew up to be as beautiful as I was. It brought a tear to my eye and she hugged me and then went on her way. I have learned to find beauty in my differences. Because my differences are what makes me special.

I am so much more than the color of my skin or what part of the world my ancestors hail from. I am the strength of my convictions. I am the fierce loyalty I hold in my heart for those I care about. So next time you see someone and are curious about their race, don’t ask what they are. Because they are people, just like you. So to answer the ever asked question, What are you? I’m a feisty, quick witted, sharp tongued, tattooed, pierced, rock loving, compassionate, purple haired young woman with a small butt, tan skin, an olive complexion (thanks mom for the Italian green skin and the never ending foundation match hunt lol), an affliction for dark makeup, and a big heart. But more importantly I’m just me. We can’t change who we are or or the cards we were dealt. But I never, not for one day, wish I was anyone but me. The trials and tribulations I went through make me the person I am today. And I can say with complete conviction that I love myself and the woman I have become.

Hey Abercrombie: I'm too cool for you.

Fri, 17 May 2013 06:53:00 -0400

It’s no secret that I wasn’t “cool” in high school. (See my former posts about being bi-racial and being bullied.) In fact I was pretty uncool and didn’t quite fit in anywhere. I had low self-esteem (low is in an understatement. I hated myself), zero self-confidence, and wanted nothing more than to fit in somewhere and be accepted for who I was. I spent many weekends at rock shows decked out in my Hot Topic studded belts, chucks, and ripped jeans but would always wear my Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirts once Monday rolled around and school was back in session. And why you ask? Because I wanted to fit in. And as we all knew, Abercrombie was where the “cool kids” shopped. Looking back I have no idea why I wanted to run around in cheaply made khakis and navy blue polo shirts with a moose on them but that’s what you had to do to be cool. Or at least that’s what the geniuses at the Abercrombie & Fitch marketing offices conditioned us to think. And in the words of A&F CEO, Mike Jeffries, “Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.” He also stated, “A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.”

Not only do I find this to be grossly offensive it’s also complete bullshit. Because teenagers don’t have enough to worry about? Really Mr. Jeffries, you’re that “exclusive?” Because I’ve seen an Abercrombie store in every cheap ass gross tacky mall in the country. You’re not John Galliano so chill the fuck out. Your clothes are made by starving children in third world countries, they rip after roughly three washes, and they’re the most uninspired, mundane, things on the market. I mean honestly, Forever 21’s clothes are more inspired. And how are navy, maroon, and beige polo shirts and cologne that smells worse than the garbage dumpster outside my apartment “exciting?” Abercrombie excites me the same way I get “excited” by the latest, high-end, exclusive cuisine at say Applebee’s. I doubt Anna Wintour has been on the edge of her seat at Vogue waiting to see what “exciting” grey moose hoodies were about to come out. So Mr. Jeffries why don’t you shut up and stop pretending you’re the CEO of a fashion house or even a decent brand because you’re not.

Mike Jeffries also says that he doesn’t want overweight or unattractive people wearing his clothes. Maybe this is why Abercrombie calls their Sales Associates “models.” So whenever you see an overly tanned girl with a bad blonde dye job listing “model” at Abercrombie as her occupation on her facebook profile you now know why. I know this because I myself was a “model” or Sales Associate at Hollister, Abercrombie’s sister company (shoutout 432!) I find this to be utterly hilarious because I was like the anti-Hollster/Abercrombie to the point where when our regional managers came around I would get sent out on two hour breaks. Probably because I broke the, “no piercings, no black nail polish, clothes or anything black policy.” I was also hired before I even filled out an application and I wasn’t a popular cool kid but somehow I slipped through the cracks. The problem with hiring people solely based on their looks is that you will get a staff full of incompetent morons. I made a lot of friends while working there and there were genuine hard working people employed there but there were also a ton of people who never showed up for their shifts or after multiple training sessions still couldn’t figure out how to work a cash register. I even recall one of my managers being so afraid of confrontation that whenever a customer was peeved and asked her if they could talk to a manager she would send out my best friend who was about 18 but looked older to talk to them, despite the fact he wasn’t a manager at all and she was. We also had to wear flip-flops as part of our dress code and part of our job description was to stand at the front of the store spraying people with toxic smelling perfume and asking them if they had “tried our Cali-flare jeans.” And just a side note, I live in California and no one dresses or acts anything like the Hollister culture despite the fact that all of their t-shirts list names of Southern Californian cities. I have yet to see someone who actually lives in Hermosa Beach with a hoodie that has a palm tree and the words HCO Hermosa Beach printed on it. And have you ever tried to actually get a question answered in an Abercrombie store? Most of their associates don’t know their heads from their asses. So yeah I would rather have an overweight girl who knows what she’s talking about help me rather than a shirtless guy who doesn’t know the cost of something when there’s a price tag printed on it any day. And honestly when I’m trying to shop the first thing on my mind isn’t, “Jeez I would love to shop in a store where the lights are so dim I can’t see anything and then leave with a migraine because everything is doused in cheap perfume that I assume was inspired by The Situation.”

Not only is Mike Jeffries offending a good portion of the country (especially when 69% of Americans adults are overweight), he is also sending a extremely negative message to teens. That it’s perfectly acceptable to bully and discriminate against people because they’re different. I spent my entire adolescence being “different” and “weird.” All the cool kids at my school wore Abercrombie and a good portion of them were horrible to me. Why on earth would any adult go out of their way to alienate teens any further? And what gives some middle aged man who looks like his face got run over by a bulldozer the authority to determine who is or isn’t “cool.” Because in my experience some of the coolest people I’ve met have been complete weirdos.

When I think back about the “popular kids” when I was growing up who shopped at Abercrombie, I remember the mean spirited demeanor many of those kids exhibited toward me. I remember feeling horrible about myself because I never had a date to prom or sat at the “cool table” at lunch. I remember my mother who was a single mom spending $90 on a pair of jeans just so I would have a better chance of fitting in with these “exclusive All American well liked” kids. I think about the guys who wouldn’t have been caught dead talking to me during my youth who now message me on facebook every time I’m taking a trip home because now that the Abercrombie stage of our lives has passed I’m cool enough to go out with them. Or the girls who were always decked out in the latest $150 fur lined hoodies who made my life a living hell who now work a mundane job in the same town and hang out with the exact same people as they did ten years ago. And the funny thing is; now I’m too cool for them. Not because of where I shop but because of the content of my character and the confidence I gained since the days of wearing Abercrombie & Fitch. So Mr. Jeffries I think you have it backwards. It’s the un-popular, weird kids who are too cool for your brand. Because they’re the future engineers, scientists, rockstars, and leaders of their generation and you’re marketing to the kids who in ten years will be the “undesirables” of their time.

1.) Sticky lipgloss 2.) Bright lip color 3.) Hair that comes...

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 12:00:09 -0400

1.) Sticky lipgloss

2.) Bright lip color

3.) Hair that comes below my bra strap

4.) Bold styled nails

5.) Too long nails

6.) Dark nail polish

7.) Dark lip liner

8.) Red lipstick

9.) Heavy Foundation

10.) Heavy eye makeup

11.) Using bright colors that pop on my eyes rather than non threatening earth tones

12.) Long fake lashes

13.) Eye liner over load

14.) Black eyeshadow

Fourteen beauty sins committed. I got approached and asked out by guys each one of the days those photos were taken. So be yourself. If a guy is too threatened by a strong sense of individualism and creativity then he isn’t a real man. Embrace what makes you unique.

According to Allure Magazine and Yahoo.com I will most likely die alone or never attract men because I regularly am guilty of breaking the beauty commandments. And I don’t care. I get dates. But with men who aren’t insecure and don’t run at the site of red lips or black nails.

Be yourself and that is the most beautiful thing.

"A gang rape happened in Ohio and no one heard about it. A gang rape happened in India and everyone..."

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:38:52 -0400

“

A gang rape happened in Ohio and no one heard about it. A gang rape happened in India and everyone heard about it (as we should). The American media has represented India as a misogynistic country where women need to be constantly wary of the men that surround them. And after that gang rape, large-scale protests blocked the streets and clogged the media. Now, I am in no way saying that rape and domestic violence are not problems in India. As an Indian-American woman who has been to India many times and is incredibly familiar with the culture, I am in no way denying that. Rape, in India, is a serious problem. Rape, especially in lower class areas in India, is an extremely prevalent problem that needs to stop being ignored and taken seriously. Violence against women in India is a serious issue.

But violence against women in America is also a serious problem. Violence against women in South Africa, and Sweden, and Chile, and Thailand, is a serious problem. Violence against women is a serious problem. Period. Full stop. While our media went out representing India as a typical place for these deplorable events to happen, another woman’s similar story went ignored and without subsequent societal action. This country outright refuses to admit that it is a rape culture.

Our media and our country are so obsessed with presenting foreign countries as worse than us or uncivilized or, most importantly, undemocratic, they will blast our radios and timelines and homepages with news of rapes in India, but refuse to acknowledge that the same thing happens here and is happening here.

”

- Anisha Ahuja, Why Does America Pretend it Doesn’t Hate Women? (Feminspire.com)

but what I really meant was I wanted to see my friends today (in some areas peeps is slang for friends) but since I really don't have any friends I am like that easter bunny, all alone. I mean I guess I have friends, but none go out tere way to ask me to come chill, or anything, hell I wonder if they would know I was alive if not for social media.

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:12:51 -0400

Everyone has someone who cares and I feel that way a lot of the time too. For about ten years I did and I still feel that way sometimes. Everyone has someone out there who cares about them and everyone matters. You are never alone. When I was a teenager I was bullied and I never had any real friends. It took me until I was into my 20s to feel good about myself and to gain self confidence. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not feel that way now but someday you’ll look back on this moment and you’ll be happy you fought on. Find something that makes you happy, for me it’s music. I used to listen to music alone for hours and go to shows alone bc that was one of the only things that made me happy. And I met some genuine people at concerts. Find what you enjoy and pursue it.

Sabrina, Why can't I just be myself, and be happy? Why must I be who I am not to find love? Because no one loves me when I am myself. The only love I know is sorrow, and she shall be my queen until I end my life, and even after that I shall be her's forever!

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 00:04:58 -0400

There is someone out there for everyone. Be yourself and it’ll happen naturally.

Men must hate me.

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:42:00 -0400

Almost every time go to yahoo.com to check my email or google to search for something I am bombarded with countless numbers of articles ranging from the latest shooting to what Kim Kardashian was wearing to some red carpet event. Generally I start clicking around and completely forget what I was searching for in the first place (Thank you adult ADD.) Inevitably I will come across an article targeted at single women. Usually entitled something like, 15 Beauty Mistakes Men Hate, or Rules to Follow to Land a Man. As my curiosity always gets the best of me, I will click the article to find yet another list of things I’m apparently doing wrong. By the end of reading I’m either extremely annoyed or wondering if all men hate me because I make almost of all the “beauty mistakes” and never follow “the rules.”

I remember seeing an article a while ago that was advertised on yahoo.com that was called, “13 Beauty Mistakes That Turn Men Off.” This should be interesting I thought to myself and I clicked it. I concluded that I am guilty of seven or eight of the thirteen beauty sins. Bright or bold nail polish? Hells to the yes and usually at the same time. Dark black eye shadow? Fuck yeah. I’m a Makeup Artist and usually look like a walking MAC counter 90% of the time. And guess what? I still get asked out! Shocking! According to Allure magazine I should probably be an old hag or a hermit living in a shack somewhere with fifteen cats. Also on the list was dry skin, stubble shaving, and too much perfume. Some people have eczema, are they not allowed to find love? And have you tried shaving every single day? Ouch.

The thing I hate about these articles is that it’s giving a message that women should not be individuals. That if, God forbid, they try to showcase their creativity by wearing a bright red lipstick or painting their nails a neon color that men will not be attracted to them. And honestly, what kind of man is going to turn down a girl because she’s wearing hot pink nail polish? A fucking weirdo that’s who. The article suggests wearing “safe, non threatening colors,” not bright bold ones. Are we preventing getting run into by a bull or trying to get a date?

Another question these articles make me ask is, As women, why does everything we do have to please a man? My style is a huge part of who I am. I love wearing dark or bright lipstick, dark eye makeup or crazy colored eye makeup and I love it. Never have I been getting dressed in the morning and thought, “Shoot. If I wear this glossy hot pink lipstick will it detour a man from coming up to me?” Hellz no. So why does society tell us we have to consider men when making any decision even one as basic as, “Which lipstick shall I wear today?”

Another article also by Allure titled, “The Worst 14 Bad-Taste Beauty Mistakes,” also made me cringe. Hair that’s too too long is apparently trashy and turns men off. It shouldn’t be longer than your bra strap according to them. My hair comes down to my waist (well my extensions do at least) and I get compliments on it all the time from men. Another one was visible lip-liner. As a makeup artist I can say that deep lip liner with a red lipstick is all the rage right now so suck it Allure.Also on the list, chipped nail polish, nails that are too long, and glitter. Apparently we should have a man walking around with us at all times inspecting the length we cut our nails because hunnie if they’re a hair too long no man will talk to you. Wait…what?

Another article I find interesting was called, “Revising the Rules for Modern Daters.” Apparently two women named Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider wrote a book in 1995 called, “The Rules.” It was about the rules of dating because apparently they are the Buddhas of dating. And according to them dating has drastically change since the mid 90’s. There are now a whole new list of rules we must follow or we’ll all die alone, single, and lying on a patchwork quilt we made ourselves that’s covered in cat hair. Or something along those lines. Now we can’t text back too quickly or men will lose interest. So obviously when I receive a text message from a guy I’m interested in I’m sitting with a stop watch waiting for the right time to text back. Ok in 5,4,3,2…..”I’m good. How are you?”

Now men on the other hand rarely make dating mistakes, at least according to Ms. Fein and Ms. Schneider. Having been on many dates myself I cant attest to the fact that that is complete BS. I’m not saying that men are worse than women or make more mistakes by why do they get off so easily while we have an entire book of things that we do wrong. How about checking out other girls while on a date? Or texting her four months after the last time you spoke to tell her you’re still interested? Um yeah I believe those qualify as dating mistakes. Why is there such a double standard? Why is society (and these two horrible obnoxious women) telling us that we have to bend over backwards just to impress a man. I don’t see twenty men’s magazines with articles on what color shirt is appropriate to wear on a date or which after shave won’t scare women off.

And remember girls you can’t text a guy back twice because, “it reeks of desperation, low self esteem, and lack of boundries.” Duh. And of course these women have to let us know their both happily married and their clients are Doctors and CEO’s so of course their advice is sound. I bet any amount of money at least one of their husbands is gay or banging his 24 year old secretary….Just saying.

So what is the moral of the story? As a women it’s very important to make sure you don’t come off as threatening (dark nail polish is a no no), as an individual (Hello Stepford), too desperate (no texting twice or your ass is getting kicked to the curb). And no dark makeup or bright lips (Kevyn Aucoin is probably rolling in his grave right now, bless his heart.) Why can’t we just be ourselves and eventually find a man who accepts us for who we are? Black nail polish and all. Personally any man who is too intimidated by the fact that I’m tall and wear heels or enjoy a nice dark smokey eye isn’t for me anyways. I mean its 2013 not 1952. There is one woman who is still viewed as one of the sexiest women of all time, Ms. Monroe and I’d trust her viewpoints on how to attract men a hell of a lot more than I’d trust a couple of middle aged women with bad spray tans.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” -Marilyn Monroe

When did being black become a Capital crime...?

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:09:00 -0500

On February 26th, 2012 at 7:09 PM a seventeen year old African American boy was shot in the chest and died as a result of his injuries. This victim was Trayvon Martin. He was visiting family in an affluent predominately white neighborhood in Sanford, Florida. He was returning from a convenient store after purchasing iced tea and skittles which he had in his backpack. According to his girlfriend, whom he was talking on the phone with, a Caucasian man was following him so he put the hood up on his sweatshirt. Around this time the 28 year old Caucasian man called 911 to report a “suspicious” black man in his neighborhood, telling the 911 operator, “There’s a real suspicious guy. He looks like he’s up to no good, on drugs or something. These assholes always get away.” The 911 operator told the caller not to follow the boy as police were on their way but he followed him anyways. Someone from the same neighborhood called 911 shortly after reporting screams and gunshots. During the 911 tape Trayvon can be heard screaming, crying, and begging for his life. If this isn’t heartbreaking and appalling enough there are people out there who not only do not feel sympathy for the victim but are outraged because of the “media bias” toward the shooter. I’m sorry but you will not earn my sympathy but shooting an unarmed teenager regardless of his race. Many questions being asked after the murder of Trayvon Martin were if he had been white would he have been shot? Everyone is crying racism and saying the shooter was racist and even that the area police department as well for not immediately pressing charges. Tapes of the 911 call have come out where the shooter utters the words, “fucking coon,” which is derogatory word for African Americans. I don’t know him so I can’t personally say he is racist but I think racism is still a major problem in this country. Racism comes in many forms, most commonly it comes out as ignorance. More often than not I wonder if these people even know how racist they sound. Sure, African Americans aren’t being hung by the KKK anymore and I may not hear the “N” word uttered as much as I used to but that doesn’t mean racism doesn’t still exist. I remember being in Junior high, 7th grade I’m going to guess and I went to the movies with a group of friends. We bought tickets to a PG movie and then snuck into an R rated movie. Jackass if memory serves. About fifteen minutes into the movie the owner of the movie theater came up to me and dragged me out of the theater. He told me that he knew that I bought tickets to another movie and told me he was going to call my parents and made me stand out front. Now I admit I did purchase tickets to the other movie because you had to show proof of ID to see an R rated movie so we snuck in. We paid for tickets, just to a different film. There were 7 or 8 of us who did it. Who was the only one who got in trouble for it? Me. Who was the only one who got banned from the movie theater? Me. Who was the only non-white person in the group? Me. So we have to ask ourselves what is the common denominator. Sure he didn’t come at me with a rifle but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t racist. Growing up being one of the only African Americans in a town of mostly white people I heard my share of racism. Usually it was subtle, an uncomfortable racist joke made in my presence or a question about hip-hop music because being black I’m obviously the know all of the rap community. Or even my sixth grade teacher taking me aside and asking if I celebrated Christmas or Kwanzaa. Really, Kwanzaa? Does anyone even celebrate that in the US? So maybe I’m a little sensitive to issues regarding race but someone has to be. When people are making racist remarks all the time it paves the way for people like George Zimmerman to go around shooting unarmed teenagers for being black. I’m sorry, but when did being African American become a capital crime? The thing that really floors me about this whole situation is how people are responding to it. The media is racist towards white people? Really? Have you ever watched TV? Because George Zimmerman is being persecuted in the media for shooting an unarmed teen, the media is racist. Umm..what about the fact that he shot an unarmed teen? That seems pretty racist to me…Supopsedly Trayvon was suspended for writing some graffiti and supposedly stealing some jewelry, although no report of missing jewelry was ever filed. Lets say hypothetically he did steal it. Is that a capital crime? It also happened months before he was shot. Or he may have smoked weed? Lock him up!!! Because there are hundreds of thousands of white pot-heads walking around. Seriously? Weed? That justifies his murder? Maybe this is just because I live in pro-marijuana California but I don’t think smoking a joint is really that big of a deal. I got into an interesting debate today with some young men regarding Trayvon’s murder. Apparently not only did he deserve to be shot because he was a pot-smoking black punk but it’s also something to laugh about. The first thing I did after hearing about Trayvon’s murder was cry. I don’t know him or his family but the though of a teenager begging for his life and crying for his mom and then being shot in the chest made me ball my eyes out. Apparently others think its funny and something to laugh about. But he we live in good old Ameri-cuuuh. So let’s raise our confederate flags and watch some Fox News… (Well in my case its more like raise a pride flag and watch Chelsea Lately. West Hollywood pride!) I think the fact that I live in such an open minded community sometimes makes me forget how hateful people can be in other places. The conversation started after this graphic was put up with the caption “Hahahaha.” Excuse me for being offended…

DerekCmonson Solly This shit is just ridiculous…i died laughing when i saw this bc this describes media bias perfectly

Sabrina Johnson So it’s funny to make fun of a teenager who was murdered in cold blood?

Sabrina Johnson Regardless of of you disagree or not a child is still dead and nothing about that is funny.

Phil James Ryan I got it Derrick

Sabrina Johnson If it has been a white boy who was shot by a black man for “looking suspicious” would you feel the same way?

DerekCmonson Solly i didnt say anything about the situation it just shows how media bias is terrible in the world

Solly and no to comment relating to ur status u just posted, im not racist. DerekCmonson Solly ive dated plenty of black girls and have alot of black friends, i have friends internationally from countries all over the place…im actually very cultured and accepting of everyone.

DerekCmonson Solly thanks tho, i appreciate you calling me out without directly calling me out to my face

Kevin Kuebler A child? He was a 17-year old punk. Phil James Ryan Derek u don’t need to defend yer self suck that

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa true, a child is dead and an innocent man is facing charges for the rest of his life and basically got the shit kicked out of him for doing his job.. he didnt attack ghandi, he didnt go and attack some “random black kid”.. that kid was a punk, his facebook showed it with his statuses about “fuck the police”.. lets be serious here (sabrina).. the only people who are racist is the media where cases like this happen every single day where murders take place but the first crack they can get on a “hate crime” they go for it.. if he wanted to kill a man because he was black, im sure he wasnt waiting around for the first black kid to trespass and seized the opportunity.. he was clearly attacked..and then they justify it by putting a 5 year old picture of treyvon and a mugshot of george.. come the fuck on.. they are scumbags.. his parents sold the :rights to his name: on a song to PLIES for 100k.. they must be real sad

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa if he was aching to kill a black person, im sure he wouldnt have called the cops first lol

DerekCmonson Solly http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/07/justice/florida-zimmerman/index.html?hpt=ju_c2 George Zimmerman’s legal team presses case in court, public www.cnn.com Lawyers for George Zimmerman, charged with murder in Trayvon Martin’s death, pre…See More

DerekCmonson Solly http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/06/us/florida-zimmerman-nbc-lawsuit/index.html George Zimmerman sues NBC Universal over edited 911 call www.cnn.com George Zimmerman, charged in shooting death of a 17-year-old Florida boy, sues N…See More

Sabrina Johnson Then why do u post so much about black people and how people always come into your store and say dis and dat and all kinds of shit? To me that sounds racist. Just because you aren blatantly calling people the N word doesn’t mean u aren’t racist.

Sabrina Johnson Thank god I live in LA and not Buffalo or my half black ass would of been shot by now too.

Sabrina Johnson You put “hahahah” as the comment when a “young man” is dead. Nothing about someone being shot is funny. And Kevin what exactly made him a punk? Wearing a hoodig with the hood pulled up and being black?

DerekCmonson Solly Sabrina, who said they were black people? DerekCmonson Solly No, his comments about “fuck tha police” and him flipping off the camera and saying “thug life” and all this shit

Sabrina Johnson What exactly did he do that was a suspicious? And what do he do to warrant being shot?

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa well when you say “fuck the police” on fb and end up dead, clearly something happened in between.. honestly, we probably will never know nor can we change anything.. Kevin Kuebler Don’t put words in my mouth Sabrina. It has nothing to do with him being black. He’s a punk because he was suspended for school 3 times. Having a baggie with marijuana residue in it, vandalism by spray painting school property and he was found with a burglary tool in his backpack along with a bag full of women’s rings, earrings and other jewelry.

Sabrina Johnson Tony I agree to a fault but that still doesn’t change the fact that Derek put a caption “hahaha” in regards to a dead teenager. Hypothetically even if he was stealing or something or even trespassing that still does not warrant the use of deadly force. He didn’t have a weapon on him so the shooter had no right to shoot him. If someone broke into my apartment and grabbed something I still couldn’t shoot them in the head if they weren’t posing an immediate threat to me.

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa maybe it was just a coincidence he got shot.. its the media that is racist.. its just a sad situation in general Sabrina Johnson I was suspending from school for wearing shorts than came above my fingertips twice and I’m black. Am I a punk too?

DerekCmonson Solly i put it in context to show how the media is trying to portray george zimmerman as opposed to trayvon martin Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa like whos parents sells the rights to their decesaed child to PLIES (whos hit song is : PLENTY MONEY).. let the guy rest in peace.. his parents are a good example of what kind of kid he was..

Sabrina Johnson Where are u getting your info? Fox news?

Kevin Kuebler Were you a burglar in high school too Sabrina? Because then yes, you were a punk.

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa did you carry mens jewelry in your backpack and a tool for burglary.. ?

DerekCmonson Solly theyre saying zimmerman is some racist monster and trayvon martin is some angel…and i quote ..trayvon martin - “youre going to die tonight”..(to zimmerman)

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa maybe George got attacked by a ghost while treyvon got shot DerekCmonson Solly trayvon tried taking the gun from zimmerman! if someone tried killing me with my own weapon, idk about you but im not going to just stand there and say “hey shoot me!”

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa looks like a punk, acts like a punk, is a punk Pat Ofenloch ^^^ the defense rests their case Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa again a thing we will never know.. i like your chances on this one

Phil James Ryan Lol defense rests

Sabrina Johnson You can be racist without blatantly calling people the N word or maybe it’s just ignorance. The “thug life” Facebook was proven to not be him. And even if these things are true, the burglary tools, that still doesn’t warrant being shot to death. If someone breaks into my apartment tonight and is trying to steal something but isn’t immediately attacking me, I cannot use deadly force on them. I carry an x-acto knife w me sometimes for self-defense because I was jumped a few years ago. If I throw on a hoodie and walk around Beverly Hills with it in my bag that doesn’t mean some guy can shoot me because I’m black and in an upscale neighborhood. Even if this kid was a “punk” as you put it he doesn’t deserve to be shot. Derek, Tony, Phil, none of u have ever smoked week? If you had some in your pocket is it ok to shoot you? No it’s not ok to shoot anyone. There are people that I truly think deserved to die. Murders, rapists but that doesn’t mean I laugh and poke fun at their deaths. It’s never funny when someone is shot. Period.

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa what N word.. that word isnt even racist unless u want it to be.. look up the definition of it.. where does it say it is directed toward black people.. theres a lot of white people who fit a similar discrpiction (see dictionary).. and no i havent smoked weed

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa techincally if someone breaks into your house, you can shoot them on site if you feel your life is threatened

Tony Lillo Amar Gangarossa Ted Bundy 4 prez

Sabrina Johnson True but if they’re stealing something and not threatening my life I can’t shoot them. The man who shot Trayvon was a grown man with a gun. How was his life being threatened?

Let’s break this down. Even if Trayvon did steal things and graffiti a door, he deserves to be shot? Because as a far as I know none of those are crimes that you can be executed for. But maybe I’m wrong, I’m not a lawyer. And basically if you commit youthful indiscretions and are African American it’s totally fine for a white man to shoot you. And if someone is coming at you with a gun, you are not allowed to defend yourself. So George Zimmerman was a little beat up. If someone was coming at me with a gun I would try to beat their ass too! But since Trayvon was black he was supposed to just sit there and not go down fighting? What kind of convoluted racist logic is that? Also I’m pretty sure the, “I have a black friend” defense isn’t really valid but ok. The facebook in question was proved not to be his and I can’t find anything from any valid news source about his parents selling rights to a rap song. But whatever makes you feel less racist! Oh and of course we have to find some conspiracy theory to prove that George Zimmerman wasn’t a racist murdered. Trayvon was the violent one! He was carrying skittles and iced tea!! George was an innocent bystander following a young man whom the 911 dispatcher specifically told him not to. And he was clearly the one begging for his life and crying out to his mother. That iced tea sure can be tricky. And hell I’m afraid of the yellow skittles. But the man with the gun chasing him wasn’t scary at all. Oh and I rode home on a rainbow unicorn today after flying down a rainbow with a leprechaun. Um no. Let’s see this for what it is. Racism. I shed tears for a fallen child. And you laugh at his death. Yeah I’m the bad one. (Obviously I’m half black.)

Republicans: Take back your party.

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 20:42:14 -0500

Let me preface this by saying this is not a rant. I am writing this from a level headed much less agressive (or as I consider it “passionate”) perspective. I tend to get a little heated when it comes to politics so to all of those who I offended, I apologize.

I’m sure you are all aware of my immense jubilation when President Obama was re-elected for a second term in office. I hope most of you share my joy. But there are many Republicans out there who do not. Who are wondering how they lost this race again. So let’s dive in. 60% of voters ages 19-29 voted for Obama while only 36% votes for Romey. Deductive reasoning tells me one of two things is true. A.) Most young voters are democrats. Or B.) Young Republicans voted Obama. Either way I have some bad news for older Consevatives: you’re kids voted for Obama. I personally know a handful of young people around my age who grew up in bible thumpin’ red states who are now proud Democrats. Could it be that young people, even young Republicans are more moderate and don’t agree with the extreme Conservative views the GOP candidates had? (See: http://www.republicansforobama.org/) Regardless of the reason the Republican party should take a long hard look of what kind of message their projecting to the rest of the country but obviously it’s not working.

One observation I had during the election process was that my more conservative friends kept making comments like, “I’m not sexist/racist/homophobic, why do people think I am just because I’m a Republican?” Are all Republicans any or all of those things? Absolutely not. But why are you letting people who are represent you? I know you’re not all old white men so elect some who aren’t into office.

Whenever I turned on the TV the past few months it was plastered with some conservative assholes saying all sorts of offensive things and sometimes it is hard for us to separate those people from the rest of the party. I remember seeing a picture taken at a pride march somewhere in the US and on the side of the road was a group of people, mostly couples. They had a sign that said something along the lines of “Christian Republicans for same sex marriage.” I know there are more of you out there! Make your voices heard. Because the old white men at the top are not getting the memo. I’m sure there are some Republican elected officials who support marriage equality and a woman’s right to choose but are too afraid to say so in fear of being persecuted by their party. Let them know it’s ok to be moderate.

I’ll say it again: I know all Republicans aren’t all hateful assholes. I know this. But why are you letting people who are be at the forefront of your party? Michele Bachmann has stated that gay people need to be “cured” as if homosexuality is some sort of disease. While her husband (who im still not convinced is straight) runs camps to cure adolescents of their gayness. Richard Murdock thinks that women can’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape.” Bobby Franklin tried to pass a bill that would criminalize miscarriages. Paul Ryan was listed as a co-sponsor on H.R. 212, known as the Sanctity of Human Life Act. This would criminalize abortions, miscarriages as well as a lot of popular forms of contraception. These are the people you elected into office. I know most of you disagree with these views so why let them represent you? I’m not saying there aren’t crazy Democrats but we generally try to avoid electing them into office. So now let’s talk about non elected officials. Those who are at the forefront of the Republican Party, the unofficial spokesmen if you will. Well we have Bill O’Reilly who last night said if President Obama won the election, “It’s not a traditional America anymore. The white establishment is now a minority.” Well last time I checked 78% of the country is still white so I’m pretty sure you’re still the majority. Republicans, why is he the poster boy for your party? Or Donald Trump who went on a twitter rampage last night and said things like, “The electoral college is a disaster for democracy.” (I said the same thing when Bush beat out Gore.) And continued to rant on about how the world is laughing at us and people need to march to the white house to stop the “injustice.” Well every other westernized country supported Obama by a landslide so I think they are in fact laughing at his toupee while he still tries to convince people Obama’s not a US citizen. DT, maybe keep your focus on teaching Brett Michaels and Meatloaf how to run a business. Or my personal favorite, gun toting, bump it wearing, you betcha, “Maverick” Sara Palin who said, ” It’s a perplexing time for many of us right now.” I think she’s still perplexed on where Russia is. So Repubs, why are these the people you are choosing to be at the forefront of your party? What about someone like Megan McCain? She seems very intelligent, well spoken, and level headed. I would love to someone like her at the forefront of the party instead of Bill O’Reilly. I’m not saying there aren’t crazy ass democrats but we tend to not give them too much clout. Like when Obama called Kanye West a jackass because he’s a idiotic d-bag. By doing this Obama distanced himself from someone who’s a little crazy. When’s the last time you saw Reverend Al Sharpton plastered all over the news? It’s been quite a while. That’s because we try to keep crazy people out of the spotlight. Republicans, learn from this.

I’ll give you an example. When someone says “New Jersey” whats the first thin you think of? The Jersey Shore? Me too. I live no where near New Jersey so most of what I hear about it is Jersey Shore related. For years I couldn’t get through the check out line at Ralph’s without seeing Snookie and her damn bump in. And I’ve never even watched the show. After a while I was conditioned to think of those idiots every time someone said something about New Jersey. Now whenever I hear New Jersey I automatically cringe and think of the Situation lifting up his shirt and have to remind myself that’s not how it really is. So when we as Democrats see nothing but crazy right wing extremists on TV we get conditioned to think of them whenever someone says Republicans.

Another big issue during this election was Women’s rights. Why this is even as issue in 2012 is mind boggling to me but it’s still an issue. I have to say whenever I came across a female Republican I was shocked. How can they support a Candidate who is trying so hard to wage a war on our rights, I’d think to myself. A few told me that Reproductive rights weren’t the most important thing at stake. Maybe so but it’s hard for me to focus on anything else when you’re trying to take away my rights. Obama received 11% more female votes this election than last so I guess Mitt Roney’s “binder full of women” just didn’t cut it. I know so many Republicans support women’s rights so let your officials know that. I don’t think all Republicans want don’t support women’s rights, so stop electing people who want to take them away. For me as a woman, it’s extremely difficult for me to focus on other issues when someone keeps saying what I consider to be extremely offensive things about my gender. So after I hear that I pretty much tune everything else out because I’m sitting there shocked going, “Did he just really say that?”

In closing I think that Republican party has fallen off the wagon so badly I’m not sure it’ll ever recover. Younger voters are voting for more moderate candidates. While watching the news last night I heard a remark that people from the GOP were satin they should of nominated a more Conservative candidate. Really? That’s what you took from people electing someone moderate into office?By all means next time around do it. I would be fine with this personally, it’ll make it easier for Hilary to land the White House in 2016. But Republicans if you don’t want the GOP to shrink dramatically in the next thirty years then take back your party. You aren’t your candidates, we know this. So stop letting crazy people represent you. If the elections have taught us anything it’s that Americans don’t want crazy people running the country so stop letting your officials paint you as the crazy party.

#republicans #democrats #GOP #obama #barackobama #romney #ryan #mittromney #paulryan #election #election2012 #donaldtrump #sarapalin #womensrights #politics #political #billoreilly

So I have to become a porn star to get my birth control covered?

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:32:29 -0400

In 1873 the Comstock Act was passed which prevented any method of birth control from being mailed. During this time many states passed laws which made any form of contraceptives illegal. Anthony Comstock, a leader in the purity movement, felt that contraceptives promoted prostitution and veneral diseise and that preventing conception was immoral. These were the times when women didn’t have a voice or many rights. And we have come so far since 1873…or so I thought.

It took more than forty years but in 1916 the first birth control clinic was opened in the United States by Margaret Sanger. It was immediately shut down by the police and Margaret Sanger was arrested and sentenced to thirty days in jail. This was four years before women were even granted the right to vote. In 1923 Sanger opened a second clinic, but this one was not shut down. By 1942 there were over 400 birth control clinics in the United States alone. There have been so many victories for women’s rights since the Comstock Act was passed in 1873, which makes me wonder why we are still fighting over these same issues that have plagued our country for almost 150 years. And why is it that in 2012 men are still the voice behind issues that affect women’s bodies?

Presidential hopeful, Rick Santorum, has stated publicly that he favors making birth control illegal. Thats right. Illegal. One hundred and fifty years after the Comstock Law was passed we are in danger of being put in jail for using contraceptives. Even though the Supreme Court made it illegal for states to ban the use of contraceptives after the Supreme Court case Griswold v Connecticut in 1965.

Another issue we are facing is the fact that birth control is in danger of no longer being covered under insurance. Why is this? Because it goes against a bunch of middle aged men’s “religious standing.” What ever happened to that whole separation of church and state thing? Another issue that really irks me is that there are politicians who are openly stating that birth control shouldn’t be covered by insurance but they think its perfectly acceptable to cover Viagra. Apparently taking contraceptives is a “lifestyle choice” but not being able to get it up is a “medical condition” and therefor viagra should be covered. What kind of convoluted logic is this? What’s the point of getting an erection if you have no one to have sex with? Because even married people don’t want to have a baby every single time they have intercourse.

Now if you think that insurance companies covering viagra but not birth control is appalling, just wait. Because it gets even more ludicrous. Apparently according to Rush Limbaugh using birth control makes you a slut and a prostitute. That’s exactly what he called Sandra Fluke, a law student who publicly stated that birth control should be covered under insurance plans. He then said “So Miss Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here’s the deal, if we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something. We want you to post the videos online so we all can watch.” What the f*#k? So now we have to become porn stars to get our birth control covered? And why don’t men have to make their sexual escapades available for all the world to see to cover their viagra? Wouldn’t we be essentially paying for them to have sex as well according to Mr. Limbaugh’s logic? I just don’t understand why some of these conservatives are so against people enjoying sex. Guess what? People like sex. Let them enjoy it. Now I agree with the first amendment, but at some point Rush Limbaugh needs to just shut up.

Another issue many of those with an anti birth control stance are forgetting is that contraceptives have many uses other than preventing pregnancy. It’s used to menstrual cramps, ovarian cysts, PMDD, acne, complications of uterine fibroids and endometriosis, and it can reduce the risks of some types of cancer. What is so wrong with that?

It has been almost one hundred years since our country’s first birth control clinic opened and women have made such strides since that time. Newsflash. We don’t sit at home and spend all of our time popping out babies anymore. Why can’t we come together as a country and move forward rather than going backwards? Not every woman wants to be a mother, so she should become celibate? As the late Margaret Sanger said, “No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.”

Baby I was born this way.

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 06:11:00 -0400

This evening I heard an interview with Dr. Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann’s husband. It is no secret that I do not support her or her views but this interview really floored me. In the interview he stated, “I think we need to really call sin, sin. And too often we find counselors and friends that will absolutely excuse a person and allow their feelings to take charge,” when talking about homosexuality. He also talked about how homosexuals need “help” from Christian leaders. He mentioned that he thinks schools should stop promoting a homosexual identity in the classroom. And that being gay is going against, “God’s word.” He also stated, “Barbarians need to be educated, they need to be disciplined. And just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean they have to go down that road. That’s what’s called the sinful nature.” This is one of the most hateful things I have ever heard. There is nothing barbaric about being gay. People like this directly contribute to the reasons gay teens commit suicide. Because they feel as if something is wrong with them. Being gay isn’t a disease, nor does it need to be cured. And I think it’s very commendable that schools are discussing homosexuality. If it is taught in the classroom that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality children will be more accepting. And they can discuss it in a safe format and teach the facts, that it is a not a choice.

By stating that homosexuals are some sort of barbarians is ridiculous. I think people like Marcus Bachmann, who are that hateful, are the true barbarians. This is one of the reason that the suicide rate of LGBT youth is so much higher than the general population. Because by preaching that there is something immoral about homosexuality is like telling someone they were born wrong. And despite the beliefs of these groups that try to cure gays, there is nothing wrong with being a homosexual. No one should have to live their life feeling like there is something wrong with them. It is not a choice. Do straight people choose to be heterosexual? No. If God created us all in his (or her) perfect image then he created homosexuals too.

Another thing I have a major problem with are the “ex-gay groups.” These groups claim to turn homosexuals into heterosexuals. That is completely impossible. If you’re straight do you think you could be taught to be gay? They also try to convince them to remain celibate because acting on homosexual desires is wrong to them. Even though The American Psychological Association states that this conversion is not possible and potentially harmful. There are even parents who force their teenagers to attend these camps. These camps are a complete disgrace and are promoting hateful and intolerant behavior by stating that homosexuality needs to be cured.

A few months ago I was having a conversation with one of my friends, we’ll call her Anne. She was telling me about a friend she had from back home who attended a Christian college. Anne’s friend had a gay friend at school. He had decided to be celibate for his entire life because his feelings were going against “God’s will,” or so he had been taught. And Anne’s friend thought this was a perfectly logical decision. Because this boy had been raised his entire to believe homosexuality is in a sin. Therefor, in his mind, he was a sinner. Can you imagine how hurtful that must be? I’m straight and I can’t imagine if I thought that being interested in guys was sinful. And every single time I checked out a guy I was sinning. I can’t imagine how painful that must be.

I know there are people out there who will argue that the bible says homosexuality is wrong. And to those people, you are full of shit. The bible also states that if a man rapes an unmarried virgin he must pay her father 50 pieces of silver, that slavery is perfectly acceptable, and that you cannot wear garments made of linen and wool woven together. Obviously, the bible was not written for modern times. No one will be stoned to death for mixing fabrics in 2011. So if we laugh at this silly verse then why is homosexuality taken so seriously? It holds no more weight than the quote about mixing fabrics.

Jesus was persecuted for going against the Jews and thus was the birth of Christianity. Yet for some reason some Christian groups are persecuting the LGBT community. I know that all Christians do not believe homosexuals go to hell, and to those of you I commend you for being tolerant. But I have met many Christians who truly believe gay people go to hell and that they are sinners. I really do pity people who believe this because it must be painful to maintain that much hatred. One of my close friends who grew up in a very Christian family told me once that she was taught to, “hate the sin not the sinner.” So to hate homosexuality but not the actual person who was gay. I guess this is a loophole so make homophobes look less hateful. These people must have forgotten that Jesus died for us all. This includes homosexuals. The world needs to understand that being gay isn’t a sin, nor is it a choice. In the words of Lady Gaga, “You were born this way baby.”

So proud to be a New Yorker!! Finally equal rights for everyone!

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 04:18:55 -0400

So proud to be a New Yorker!! Finally equal rights for everyone!

Bullying (aka harassment)

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 01:31:00 -0400

After seeing all of the media attentions focused of bullying lately I immediately thought back to the tragedies that happened in Littleton, Colorado as well as the suicides of the five gay teens last year. And I realized that bullying and intolerance is still a major problem in our society. I know that puberty is a tough time for everyone and many adolescents tend to pick on each other and girls get catty. But when exactly does it cross the line? Today’s adolescent bullies can very easily become tomorrows racists and gay bashers. So why is this behavior tolerated? I have yet to find an answer to that question. As someone who experienced bullying while growing up, I can personally say that it isn’t something to be taken lightly. Because it can end in murder, suicide, depression, and causing issues that can take a lifetime to get over.

I remember watching “Bowling for Columbine,” many years ago and it really resonated with me for many reasons. Probably because I dealt with bullying growing up as many adolescents do. One of my favorite quotes from the film was by Matt Stone, one of the creators of South Park who also attended Columbine High School. He said, “You believe in high school, and a lot of it’s kids, but the teachers, counselors, and principals don’t help things. They scare you into conforming and doing good in school by saying if you’re a loser now you’ll be a loser forever. So Eric and Dylan, people called them fag. You know you’re like if I’m a fag now, I’m a fag forever. And you wish someone could of grabbed them and gone high schools not the end. ” I really agree with his statement for many reasons. I remember my teachers favoring the popular kids and never really acknowledging the others. So you felt like if you weren’t popular or a straight A student that you were nothing. When in reality a lot of the “outcast” kids go on to do great things. But when you’re growing up no one tells you this.

There have been so many instances in our country’s history which give us prime examples of the damage bullying can do. One of the most infamous is the shootings at Columbine. The media was so quick to blame video games, movies, even one of my favorite musicians, Marilyn Manson. But what was conveniently left out of that list was their peers. No, I absolutely by no means think that anyone deserved to die at the hands of those two boys. But if Dylan and Eric hadn’t of been bullied it very well may not have gotten to that point. People can only be pushed so hard before they push back. And if the person on the receiving end of the harassment is small and unable to defend themselves, what do people expect to happen? There have been many other school shootings since then and other instances of violence in schools. And what came out of these tragedies was gun control. I think that minors should never have to access to firearms. But if they really want to go on a rampage I’m sure they would find another way. What really needs to be taken into account is the harassment. Kids bully each other. It’s a fact. But if it is so severe that children are considering causing a massacre in their school, then clearly there is a problem.

Another tragedy that was brought to the media’s attention were the five young men who committed suicide last year. And some media reports that it could be more than that, the number could be closer to ten. These boys were harassed to the point that they took their own lives. Why some people are so intent on ruining others lives is beyond my comprehension. But this is more than bullying, it is full on harassment. And I really think that one of the major reasons is because they didn’t think it could get better. And I think that is something that can be attributed to the schools and to the parents. Don’t get me wrong, school is important. But it isn’t the end. You can be unpopular or different in school and you can still go on to do great things. Many great musicians and artists were outcasts in high school. The leaders in technology used to be computer nerds.

Now bullying against gays is in the media’s attention right now. And it is an issue that should not be ignored. However, there is all sorts of bullying going on. There have several teens who committed suicide because they were made fun of for being “emo.” And I personally remember being the victim of all sorts of harassment because I was a different race than all of my classmates. I will always remember the first time someone called me the “n word.” I was in eight years old and in fourth grade. I was sitting in the middle of a cluster of classrooms at a table waiting for a teacher to come back and another student came up and knelt down next to me. He was a boy, a year or two older than me. And whispered in my ear that I was a nigger. I’m not even sure if I knew what that word meant at the time. But I wonder where this boy had heard that word and how knew who to direct it at. Racist parents maybe? Because bullying is a cycle. And when parents teach their children malicious behavior, bullying becomes the obvious result. So we must never harass others because of their sexuality, but also because of their race, style of dress, religion, or anything else. Never.

There is a common exercise done with children where you are shown a group of cards, maybe fruits or something. And you will have a watermelon, a pear, grapes, apples, and a loaf of bread. You are asked which one is different? Which one doesn’t belong? Or in my case, take a group full of caucasian students and throw in one mixed race girl. Just because something is slightly different doesn’t mean it doesn’t belong or it’s wrong. We are taught at such an early age that conformity is so important and that there is something wrong with being different. I remember thinking I was so weird growing up because I was much more interested in art and fashion than math and science. No one told me I could have a career in either of those industries. Differences should be celebrated. No one should be made to feel that they are any less of a person because they are different.

My favorite saying is “live and let live.” Just because I don’t understand or accept something doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Parents need to teach their children this because if tolerance is taught instead of hatred then bullying will stop. And if those kids who are being bullied are taught that there is a life after school and things can change maybe they won’t take such drastic measures when they’re being harassed. I just think our mentality about the whole situation needs to change. I think Matt Stone said it best, ”It’s amazing how fast your lose touch with all of those people. And they beat it in your head as early as sixth grade. Don’t fuck up because if you do you’re gonna die poor and lonely and you’re like well fuck whatever I am now I’m that forever. And of course it’s completely opposite, all the nerds in high school go on to do great things and all the cool guys are all living back in Littleton as insurance agents. It’s almost person to person, it’s completely that way. And maybe if someone could of told them that they wouldn’t of done it.”

This song and video is so powerful. I love this band so much for...

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 02:10:08 -0400

This song and video is so powerful. I love this band so much for taking a stand.

Very eye opening. thesexuneducated: please please please...

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 05:02:07 -0400

Very eye opening.

thesexuneducated:

please please please watch this!!!!!!!! Jean Kilbourne is amazing. Visit her website www.jeankilbourne.com

hardlikekerosene:

interesting tid bit i stumbled upon

Is dressing sexy an invitation to be harassed? I didn't think so either.

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 07:20:00 -0400

A few nights ago I was out with a group of girls at a nightclub in Hollywood. We were drinking, dancing, and having a blast as so many twenty something girls do. I don’t usually frequent nightclubs. Personally, I like bars, but occasionally I will venture out to spend a night amongst the pseudo celebrities and beautiful people. The night was going well until we encountered a group of men who clearly did not understand the concept of appropriate behavior. Nor did they understand a woman’s right to personal space and boundaries. I have heard so many stories on blogs and on the news about men being inappropriate with women and justifying it on the woman’s demeanor or their outfit. Regardless of what many high priced fashion designers tell us, the outfit does not make the person. And even if a woman is walking around in a Playboy bunny outfit with bunny ears, that does not give any man the right to touch her. Everyone deserves respect. Period. That night, I learned not everyone believes in that policy.

Shortly after we arrived at the nightclub a guy in his twenties approached us. He invited us to come to his table and have a drink. (For those of you don’t live in big cities and aren’t familiar with table service it’s when a group of people, usually guys, spend hundreds and maybe even thousands of dollars to sit at a table in a nightclub. Attractive and usually scantily clad waitresses bring them bottles of expensive liquor and mixers.) My friends and I were dancing at the table and the young men had graciously offered us drinks. We were having a good time and then quite quickly the mood changed. I was talking to one of my friends when one of the young men at the table tried to put his arm around my waist. I politely asked him not to touch me. He rolled his eyes and walked away. About twenty minutes later the same young man tried to touch me again, I asked him a second time to please keep his hands off of me. A little while later my friends and I were dancing with each other and talking to some of the more pleasant young men at the table, when the same guy came over. My friends were joking about my dress, which was a bit low cut. The young man proceeded to put his hands into the front of my dress and tried to touch my breasts while laughing. Apparently he thought that since my friends were joking with me and because my dress was low cut that I was inviting people to touch me. Well guess what? That’s sexual assault. I very quickly grabbed his hands and shoved him away from me. He told me I was a bitch.

I turned around in hopes of getting support from my friends. Thats when I saw one of them storm off. I followed her and she informed me that she had been pushed very hard by another one of the guys and was looking for security. Apparently one of the guys had tried to grab her behind and she pushed his hand away. He then shoved her extremely hard and told her that we were at his table, drinking his alcohol, and he could do what he wanted. He also told her to “look what we were wearing.” In my opinion we were all dressed sexy but classy. A couple of the girls were in jeans and tops and some in dresses. Yes, they were short. Yes, they may have been low cut. But nothing we had on was any more provocative than any other twenty something girl in any nightclub in the city. And even if we were in lingerie that does not give any man the right to touch us or disrespect us. Shortly after the incident occurred the men were kicked out of the club by security.

I began to wonder just how men perceive us. I know that the idea of beauty and sexiness varies from person to person. But do people really think that just because a woman is showing a little skin that she is automatically easy? Or that it is acceptable to disrespect her? We live in a world where pop stars dressed like strippers are glorified and young girls role models look like playmates. No, I am not trying to say that we should dress more conservatively, but sex is everywhere. If you look at any billboard advertising a denim line it will almost always feature a topless girl with her back to the camera. Walk into any mall in America. Every Victoria’s Secret store is plastered with images of women in lingerie. They are not sluts. So why do some people think that it’s okay to grab a woman on the street because she is dressed sexy? Our society has proven many times that just because a woman has sex appeal doesn’t mean she deserves to be grabbed or touched inappropriately. A woman in a sexy dress deserves the same respect as a woman in a conservative business suit.

Recently I read a quote from a representative of the Toronto Police Service. It read, “Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order to not be victimized.” So basically they are saying that if you are wearing a sexy outfit you deserve to be raped or assaulted. This is not the case. And also how exactly do sluts dress? Because I have seen prostitutes being interviewed on TV wearing expensive designer clothes. And I have seen some well respected Hollywood actresses wearing close to nothing at nightclubs. I know some girls who sleep around quite frequently and are very conservative in their dress and vice versa. Every woman deserves respect regardless of how she is dressed.

I think that if we stopped making assumptions based on dress this problem would disappear quickly. Just because a woman is showing a little cleavage doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to grab her breasts. Just because another woman is wearing a short skirt doesn’t mean you can grab her behind. No woman deserves to be disrespected, regardless of her outfit. The sooner we get past these stigmas that woman who dress provocatively are sluts the sooner we can move forward. Showing skin is not a crime. Nor is it an invitation for harassment and assault. Men need to take responsibility for their own actions in these cases and stop putting the blame on the women. They aren’t assaulting women because they are dressed “slutty.” They are doing it because they are impertinent, moronic, misogynists. No, I don’t think all men are like this but the ones who inappropriately touch women deserve this title. So guys, next time you see a woman in a sexy outfit. Tell her you think she’s beautiful and sexy. Don’t grab her. Believe me, that works much better anyways.

Reblog If You're Mixed.

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:17:21 -0400

Well, that pretty much sums it up

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:16:00 -0400

lazybeautiful:

newsweek:

Zoosk, the online dating site, asked 5,000 singles how they’d feel about receiving unexpected lewd photos.

61% of gals said “creepy”; 71% of dudes said “sexy.”

And there you have it, folks.

#this is why men don’t understand women

Which is the greater evil?

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 05:40:10 -0400

I was watching a show last night entitled, “Caught on tape,” on MSNBC. Some of the videos were strange, like a group of people suddenly freezing at Union Station and not moving for a prolonged amount of time. But the videos that really got to me were the ones where people were injured or in dire need of help and no one did a thing. I think one of the biggest problems with mankind is that most people are so self serving that they can’t even see what’s going on around them.

During this program a video was shown that was taken from a traffic camera. It showed an old man attempting to cross the street and he was stopped in the middle. A car switched lanes and hit him dead on. He flew over the car and it didn’t even stop. Now, you would think that other cars would stop and rush to this man’s aid and a pedestrian would have tried to write down the license plate number. Neither of those things happened. Cars continued to drive past this man while he was lying in the middle of the street bleeding profusely. Two people on scooters swerved around him. Pedestrians stood on the side of the street and stared but no one tried to aid him. After about 2 and a half minutes someone called 911. But for two and a half minutes no one lifted a finger to help this poor man. So which was the greater evil? Hitting a pedestrian and driving off or standing idly by while someone was severely injured and not doing a damn thing to help?

I remember watching a segment of a show called, What would you do, or something along those lines. They staged situations to get people’s reactions. One situation showed a young woman, supposedly celebrating her 21st birthday. She was very drunk and a random man would come over and try to pick her up. She told him no and he tried to pull her out of the bar. They repeated the situation several times to get different reactions. A few times onlookers would step in and tell the young man to leave the drunk girl alone. Other times people would watch and tell each other that it, “wasn’t their business.” One of the times the young man asked another man at the bar if he knew of a private place he could take this girl, who was so obviously incapacitated. The man, who turned out of the a police officer, suggested that he bring the girl to some sand dunes because they provided coverage. Now, this was a TV show and the incident was staged. However, the reason for conducting this experiment was because a similar incident occurred in real life. The TV show then cut to a security tape from a nightclub. There was a young woman sprawled out on a booth and she was clearly very intoxicated. A man comes over to the young woman and throws her over his shoulder. He carries her out of the club while she is kicking and no one stopped him. She was found murdered a day or two later. She had been raped.

I know not all incidences where others need help are of this magnitude. I can think of many minor situations that have occurred in my life. As I mentioned in an earlier post I am biracial and grew up in an essentially all white town. Because of this I got my fair share of harassment. I can think of dozens of times where I was alienated, bullied, and made to feel awful about myself. Yet no one ever stood up for me. No teachers scolded those who bullied me. None of my peers stood by me. I still struggle with these issues today and I have been out of school for many years. My adolescent and teen years would have been so many easier if just one person had come to my aid. So which was worse? The bullies who harassed me or the others who stood by and told themselves it wasn’t their problem?

Growing up I had a friend, let’s call her Dana. Dana stole from me on several occasions. She would go through my bags whenever I left them unattended and steal any cash I had. Dana even stole personal belongings. I accused her of stealing from me one day and she yelled at me for even thinking such a thing and even turned a couple of our friends against me. I found out a couple years later that she had confided in our little circle of friends. Dana told them she had stolen from me many times. And in my moment of me need none of them stood up for me.

Now I realize these little incidences are miniscule compared to what that poor man who was hit by the car went through. I hope that most people would rush to his aid. But most of us will never have the opportunity to help someone in a time of crisis. The real tests are the everyday situations. If you saw a group of bullies harassing a child, would you step in? If you saw an elderly person struggling to carry a bag of groceries, would you help? I think the people who don’t are the enablers. Because this “every man for himself” mentality that our society has adopted is not working. I have heard phrases like, “Why would I care? It doesn’t affect me,” or “Why do you care? It doesn’t make a difference in your life,” uttered by my friends and strangers alike. The answer is because I care about others. And you should too. There is hunger and poverty all over the world. Families are homeless and starving. Heinous crimes are committed everyday. Children are bullied and adults are harassed. And most of the time no one lifts a finger to help. So I’m not really sure which is worse. To be the source of the problem or to stand by and do nothing. So much of this could be avoided if we would just stand up and help one another. Because who knows, maybe next time you will be the one in desperate need of help. And maybe no one will be there for you.

“First they came for the communists. And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews. And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics. And I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me. And by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.”

-Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945